“Take thou courage, and shew thyself a man.”
—1 Kings 2:2, Douay-Rheims
The words “Be a man” can carry many meanings.
Sometimes they are used to tell a boy not to cry. Sometimes they mean that a man must solve every problem by himself, conceal his weaknesses, dominate others, or prove his worth through achievement. The world often measures manhood by physical strength, money, influence, sexual conquest, or independence.
But none of these things reveals the heart of authentic Christian manhood.
In Be a Man! Becoming the Man God Created You to Be, Father Larry Richards presents a very different vision. A man becomes who God created him to be when he knows his final destination, receives his identity as a beloved son, repents of his sins, surrenders to the Holy Ghost, learns to love sacrificially, seeks holiness, and gives his life for others.
The model is not a celebrity, an athlete, a warrior, or a successful businessman. The model is Jesus Christ.
Manhood Begins with Sonship
Before Jesus began His public ministry, performed a miracle, preached a sermon, or called His first disciple, the Father declared His identity:
“Thou art my beloved Son; in thee I am well pleased.”
—Mark 1:11
This moment reveals something essential. Jesus’ mission flows from His relationship with the Father. He does not work in order to become the beloved Son. He acts because He is the beloved Son.
The same order must govern our lives.
We can spend years trying to prove that we are worthy of love. We chase success, approval, pleasure, admiration, and control. Yet beneath all that activity there is often a frightened heart asking, “Am I enough?”
The Gospel answers with something greater than self-confidence: through baptism and grace, we are made adopted children of God. We do not have to manufacture an identity. We must receive one.
“You have received the spirit of adoption of sons, whereby we cry: Abba (Father).”
—Romans 8:15
A man who does not know that he is loved will continually demand that others fill the emptiness within him. He may seek constant praise from his employer, submission from his family, validation from women, or admiration from other men. But when he rests in the Father’s love, he becomes free. He no longer needs to use others to establish his worth.
He can finally give himself.
This is why spiritual fatherhood begins with spiritual sonship. Before a man can lead, protect, teach, or sacrifice for others, he must first allow himself to be loved and formed by God the Father. Father Richards returns repeatedly to this truth: what a man does must flow from who he is—a beloved son called to resemble Christ.¹
Strength Is Not the Absence of Weakness
Christian strength is often misunderstood.
It is not emotional coldness. It is not aggression. It is not the refusal to ask for help. It is not the ability to control everyone around us.
Saint Paul writes:
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear: but of power, and of love, and of sobriety.”
—2 Timothy 1:7
Notice that power is joined to love and self-mastery. Power separated from love becomes tyranny. Emotion separated from self-mastery becomes instability. But strength governed by love becomes service.
Jesus reveals His power most perfectly upon the Cross. His hands are not clenched around a weapon; they are opened and pierced. He conquers not by taking life, but by offering His own.
The Cross therefore overturns the world’s definition of masculinity. The strongest man is not necessarily the one who can impose his will upon others. The strongest man is the one who can surrender his will to the Father, remain faithful in suffering, forgive his enemies, master his appetites, and lay down his life in love.
This kind of strength requires grace.
A man may be physically imposing and yet remain enslaved to anger, pornography, alcohol, pride, resentment, or the opinions of others. Another man may appear quiet and ordinary, yet possess heroic strength because he rises each morning to pray, remains faithful to his wife, provides for his children, forgives those who wound him, confesses his sins, and continues carrying his cross.
God does not ask us to pretend that we have no weaknesses. He asks us to bring those weaknesses to Christ.
“My grace is sufficient for thee; for power is made perfect in infirmity.”
—2 Corinthians 12:9
Repentance Is an Act of Courage
The world tells men to hide their failures. The Gospel tells us to bring them into the light.
Repentance is not self-hatred. It is the courageous admission that we have wandered from the Father and need to return. Father Richards emphasizes that becoming a man of God requires an honest examination of conscience, resistance to temptation, and regular sacramental confession.²
It takes no courage to excuse our sins. It takes no strength to blame our childhood, our spouse, our employer, society, or our circumstances for everything wrong in our lives.
Courage says: “I have sinned. I need mercy. By the grace of God, I will change.”
The man who kneels in the confessional is not behaving weakly. He is refusing to remain a slave. He is allowing Christ to break the chains that pride tells him to conceal.
God does not call us to perfection achieved through our own power. He calls us to conversion—a lifelong turning away from sin and toward Him. The Catechism describes this conversion as a work of grace that moves the heart to respond to God’s merciful love.³
A saint is not a man who has never fallen. A saint is a man who continually allows Christ to raise him.
Love Is the Measure of the Man
Ultimately, a man’s greatness is measured by his capacity to love.
This love is more than sentiment. It is the willing of another person’s good, even when sacrifice is required. It means speaking affection instead of assuming that our families already know how we feel. It means being present rather than merely providing materially. It means listening, forgiving, protecting, correcting with gentleness, and serving without demanding recognition.
Christ commands:
“This is my commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you.”
—John 15:12
The crucial words are “as I have loved you.”
Jesus loves first. He loves faithfully. He loves when misunderstood. He loves His enemies. He loves unto death.
A Christian man must therefore ask himself difficult questions: Does my wife experience Christ’s patience through me? Do my children see prayer as the foundation of my life? Do my friends know that I care about their souls? Do I use my authority to serve, or do I use it to control? Am I willing to sacrifice my comfort for the good of another?
These questions expose the difference between appearing masculine and becoming Christlike.
Father Richards urges men to express love concretely, to care for the poor, to pray for enemies, to lead their families spiritually, and to form honest friendships with other men who will challenge them toward holiness.⁴ Christian brotherhood is not built merely around entertainment or shared interests. At its best, it helps men carry their crosses and reach heaven together.
The Final Goal Is Holiness
The Christian life cannot be reduced to becoming more disciplined, productive, respectable, or successful. These things may have value, but they are not the final goal.
The final goal is union with God.
“Follow peace with all men, and holiness: without which no man shall see God.”
—Hebrews 12:14
Every man is called to holiness. Not only priests, monks, missionaries, or martyrs. Fathers, husbands, sons, laborers, professionals, students, widowers, and single men are all called to become saints.
Holiness is not an escape from ordinary responsibilities. It is the transformation of ordinary responsibilities through grace. A man becomes holy when he performs his duties with love, offers his suffering to God, seeks the sacraments, guards his speech, practices purity, forgives injuries, and remains faithful in the small choices no one else notices.
The world does not primarily need men who can attract attention. It needs men whose lives direct attention toward Christ.
It needs men who pray.
Men who repent.
Men who remain faithful.
Men who protect the vulnerable.
Men who tell the truth.
Men who love their families.
Men who serve without applause.
Men who are unafraid to be holy.
To “be a man,” in the Christian sense, is not to become harder, louder, or more dominant. It is to become more like Jesus Christ. It is to receive the Father’s love, surrender to the Holy Ghost, take responsibility for one’s sins, and offer one’s life for the salvation and good of others.
This transformation does not happen in a single dramatic moment. It happens through daily surrender: one prayer, one confession, one act of obedience, one temptation resisted, one person forgiven, and one sacrifice offered at a time.
The Father is not asking us to invent ourselves. He is inviting us to become the men He already created and redeemed us to be.
Take courage, therefore.
Remember whose son you are.
Take up your cross.
And become a man after the Heart of Christ.
Sources
- Fr. Larry Richards, Be a Man! Becoming the Man God Created You to Be (Ignatius Press, 2009), chapters 1–2.
- Richards, Be a Man!, chapter 3.
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, nos. 1427–1433.
- Richards, Be a Man!, chapters 5–10.
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, nos. 1265–1270, 2012–2016.
- Scripture quotations are from the Douay-Rheims Bible.