Rejoicing in Another Person’s Good

Saint Thomas teaches that joy follows love when the beloved good is present. Because charity loves God and loves the neighbor in God, charity can rejoice in divine goodness and in the genuine good possessed by another person. This is more than social politeness. It is a participation in the order of love.

Envy and charitable joy therefore stand in direct opposition. Envy contracts around the thought, “His good diminishes me.” Charity expands: “This true good is worthy of love, and because I love this person in God, I can delight that the good is present.”

The emotional experience may lag behind the act of the will. One can choose to rejoice through blessing, praise, prayer, and service while still feeling grief or insecurity. Virtue does not require emotional falsity.

The Church is one Body with many members. Diversity of gifts is not an accident to be overcome but part of divine wisdom. The eye does not become useless because the hand is strong; the hidden member is not less necessary because another is publicly honored.

The Communion of Saints means that the good of one member can benefit others. Prayer, sacrifice, teaching, works of mercy, fidelity in suffering, and the witness of holiness are not private trophies. Grace makes them ecclesial. This is why the Church celebrates saints rather than resenting them.

Mary is the highest created example. Her unique privileges glorify God and serve the salvation of the whole Church. Elizabeth responds to Mary’s blessedness with Spirit-filled praise, and Mary responds by magnifying the Lord. Neither woman needs the other to become smaller.

When spontaneous delight is absent, begin with benevolence: the firm willing of the other’s true good. Ask God to preserve what is genuinely good, purify what is mixed, correct what is sinful, and order every gift toward salvation.

Benevolence is compatible with boundaries. You can will the good of a person whose conduct requires distance. You can rejoice in a talent while refusing manipulation. You can pray for a rival’s conversion while contesting an unjust decision.

This prevents “rejoicing” from becoming flattery or complicity. Charity rejoices in truth, not in wrongdoing.

1. Name the good precisely. Avoid exaggerated praise that feels false.
2. Acknowledge the person’s labor. Gratitude to God does not erase human agency.
3. Offer congratulations without redirecting attention to yourself.
4. Ask one interested question. Let the person receive the moment.
5. Pray privately for the good to bear holy fruit.
6. Give practical support when fitting. Attend, recommend, share credit, or help.
7. Process your own grief elsewhere. Do not make the blessed person carry your comparison during the celebration.

Earthly successes are often mixed. A promotion may be deserved but accompanied by pride. A public ministry may bear fruit while containing imprudence. A family milestone may be joyful while awakening unresolved conflict. Charity neither canonizes the whole situation nor refuses every good within it.

Rejoice in what is true, good, and beautiful. Withhold approval from sin. Raise concerns through proper relationships and authorities. Avoid using a real defect as permission to deny all good.

This balanced judgment is an act of prudence. Envy tends toward totalizing conclusions: “Because one thing is wrong, nothing good is real,” or, “Because the person is praised, every criticism must be envy.” Catholic judgment resists both.

Saint John the Baptist provides a concise rule: “He must increase, but I must decrease.” This is not self-hatred. John knows his identity as friend of the Bridegroom and finds joy in the Bridegroom’s voice.

Saint Paul can rejoice when Christ is preached even by persons whose motives trouble him, while still naming the impurity of those motives. Jonathan protects David despite the cost to his dynastic future. Barnabas recognizes grace in Saul and makes room for his mission.

Each example reveals secure vocation. The person who knows his place before God can welcome another’s fruit without surrendering truth.

Repeated acts shape the passions. At first, congratulating, praying, or giving credit may feel costly. Over time, the will’s steady direction can educate emotion. Grace builds upon this discipline, and the heart may begin to experience more spontaneous joy.

Do not measure progress only by warmth. Other signs matter: less gossip, quicker praise, reduced monitoring, greater generosity, faithful collaboration, and freedom to return to one’s duties.